I am a Sick Perverted Mother

I Can't Handle the Truth

Sometimes you get an email that just begs to be responded to - especially when the sender has a valid email address. I have no idea why this guy sent me this message, but it must have been something drastic.

Sent:    03/18/97
To:      Matthew Lewis Carroll Smith
From:    Michael
Subject: Hello

Are you some kind of god damn sick perverted mother fucker?

Knowing me, that was a legitimate question.

Sent:    03/19/97
From:    Matthew Lewis Carroll Smith
To:      Michael
Subject: Re: Hello

Michael:

THANK YOU for your interest in ME! I am ALWAYS HAPPY to be IN TOUCH with those COMMON EVERY-DAY PEOPLE who express an interest in ME!

I have a GENUINE PERSONAL RESPONSE to your COMPLETELY NORMAL question, JUST FOR YOU!

Mike, can I call you Mike? Good. There are aheckuvalota religions out there in this big ol' world of ours and my policy is that they should get along peacefully and be allowed to do any rituals they want, as long as they can keep in behind closed doors and, of course, bar-b-q pits are never involved. And they should promote health, too. I'm healthy Mike. Did you know that? Yes, I'm healthy and happy and I think those child molesters should be put behind bars to keep our families safe and plentiful.

WOW! That was GREAT!

I hope you THOROUGHLY ENJOY this HONEST ENDEARMENT from ME!

- MATTHEW LEWIS CARROLL SMITH

Never heard back.

it pays the bills dept

here is something I hope is doing no evil.

could be worse dept

there could be more of them