matt foley "living in a div down by the navmenu" dept
(c)opyleft
1995-2008
Matthew Lewis
Carroll Smith
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DotComitas Clones Key Employees |
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Future Technology Today!
 Sucram |
 Niksav |
 Ekim |
 Nagem |
 Wehttam |
 Ttocs |
 Renraw |
Seems like only yesterday we
were seeing 'Danger' signs like this near every corporate boardroom because of the
mismanaged genetics programs many Fortune 500 companies implemented. But
those days are gone, thanks to new breakthroughs in fractional T1 technology
and digital multiplexing.
DotComitas is proud to staff a full complement of genetics technicians - available at our every whim. These highly overpaid doctors do everything from a capricious grafting on of a new limb to the more critical Key Employee Backup Program. No lab rats or wombats here!
Key Employee Backup Program
At DotComitas, we place a lot of stock
in having the right people in the right place. We can't let a minor inconvenience
like a death or dismemberment deter
us from serving our customers! That's why DotComitas goes that extra micrometer
in selecting the right attributes for each and every employee. And once we find
the right combination - we make copies - lots and lots of copies.
DotComitas also looks outside "in
the real world" for parts and snippets of genetic code that we can use
to improve our line. And we pay handsomely for what we find, too! (Those nasty
rumors about people disappearing were started by our competitors, of course!)
Real Authentic Genetic Improvements
Unlike other interactive marketing companies that claim to have a technological edge, DotComitas has proof you can see. Go ahead, ignore the endless ranks of mindlessly happy clients we have in this closet over here. No! That isn't good enough for you is it? Well, maybe this will change your mind; Bona Fide Genetic Evidence!
Here's what makes DotComitas better than the other guys:
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Mobility - DotComitas can get to new markets with unparalleled speed using viral propagation technology.
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Penetration - When DotComitas arrives in a new marketplace we don't just sit there - we multiply. Cells from DotComitas employees generate new marketing lackeys when a new market is detected.
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Toxicity - DotComitas can prevent others from entering your marketspace. Rare Media's anti-competitive aura causes your competition to wither up and die.
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Surreality - DotComitas can change its morphology on command. Watch Matthew Lewis Carroll Smith (last year's Mjhor Mark 3 model) prepare himself for a Dali conference in this 0.8 MB Quicktime movie.
We want you to understand, DotComitas isn't just "familiar" with 21st century technology, we are an inexplicable part of it. One could truly say:
DotComitas - Marketing is in our GENES!
it pays the bills dept
here is something I hope is doing no evil.
could be worse dept
there could be more of them