Classical Jazz 2005: Home

<<< Cybersex Gone Wrong IV

Attribution unavailable; apparently this has been passed around on the internet for some time now.

  • Cybersexbloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
  • Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.
  • bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
  • Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.
  • bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.
  • Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.
  • bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
  • bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
  • Sarah19fca: you like that?
  • bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
  • Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
  • bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
  • Sarah19fca: Peanuts?
  • bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
  • Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?
  • bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
  • Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
  • bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
  • bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
  • bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
  • Sarah19fca: /ignore
  • bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a b*tch anyway.
  • bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.

  • bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
  • DirtyKate: OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)
  • DirtyKate: Who are you?
  • bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
  • bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
  • DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
  • bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
  • DirtyKate: Haha! OK
  • DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
  • bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
  • DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
  • bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
  • DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
  • DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
  • bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
  • **pause**
  • DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
  • bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
  • bloodninja: I'm on my way now though
  • **pause**
  • DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
  • bloodninja: How did you know?
  • bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
  • bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
  • DirtyKate: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
  • bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?
  • DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
  • bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
  • DirtyKate: What the f**k?
  • DirtyKate: You perverted piece of s**t
  • DirtyKate: F**k

  • Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?
  • J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie.
  • Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg"
  • J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and sh*t. You know, rollin with tha homies and sh*t.
  • Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?
  • J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns.
  • Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?
  • J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby.
  • Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun".
  • J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big.
  • Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?
  • J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.
  • Partner6: It likes that.
  • J-Dogg: aight.
  • Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...
  • J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.
  • Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.
  • J-Dogg: I unzip my pants...
  • Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.
  • J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...
  • Partner6: WTF?!
  • J-Dogg: Oh sh*t, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!
  • Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only f*ck women...
  • J-Dogg: Sh*t just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!
  • Partner6: You dipsh*t.
  • J-Dogg: I whimper to myself...
  • J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr.

Some of the chat logs that used to appear on these pages belonged to Fugly.com, so direct your browsers to:

http://www.fugly.com/victims/

...and read more hilarious instant-messaging conversations!

 

 

 

 

 

it pays the bills dept

here is something I hope is doing no evil.

could be worse dept

there could be more of them