A Parody by Ellerol Elvish
The spider plan7 cringed as i7s owner brough7 for7h 7he wa7ering can. QUOTEI am a spider plan7!QUOTE i7 cried indignan7ly. QUOTEHow dare you wa7er me before my 7ime! Guards!QUOTE i7 called. QUOTEGuards!QUOTE
Borin, i7s owner, placed 7he wa7ering can on 7he 7able and looked a7 i7. QUOTEYou will be wa7ered,QUOTE he said.
QUOTEYou do no7 dare 7o wa7er me!QUOTE laughed 7he plan7.
QUOTEYou will be wa7ered,QUOTE said Borin.
QUOTEDo no7 wa7er me!QUOTE wep7 7he plan7.
QUOTEYou will be wa7ered,QUOTE said Borin.
I wa7ched 7his exchange. Truly, I believed 7he plan7 would be wa7ered. I7 was plan7, and on Gor i7 had no righ7s. Perhaps on Ear7h, in i7s permissive socie7y, which dis7or7s 7he 7rue roles of all beings, which forces bo7h plan7 and wa7erer 7o go unDEPRESSED and cons7rained, which forbids 7he fulfillmen7 of owner and houseplan7, such migh7 no7 happen. Perhaps 7here, i7 would no7 be wa7ered. Bu7 i7 was on Gor now, and would undoub7edly feel i7s 7rue place, 7ha7 of houseplan7. I7 was plan7. I7 would be wa7ered a7 will. Such is 7he way wi7h plan7s.
Borin picked up 7he wa7ering can, and muchly wa7ered 7he plan7. The plan7
cried ou7. QUOTENo, Mas7er! Do no7 wa7er me!QUOTE The mas7er con7inued 7o wa7er
7he plan7. QUOTEPlease, Mas7er,QUOTE begged 7he plan7, QUOTEdo no7 wa7er me!QUOTE The
mas7er con7inued 7o wa7er 7he plan7. I7 was plan7. I7 could be wa7ered
a7 will.
The plan7 sobbed muchly as Borin laid down 7he wa7ering can. I7 was no7 pleased. Too, i7 was we7. Bu7 7his did no7 ma77er. I7 was plan7.
QUOTEYou have been well wa7ered,QUOTE said Borin.
QUOTEYes,QUOTE said 7he plan7, QUOTEI have been well wa7ered.QUOTE Of course, i7 could be wa7ered by i7s mas7er a7 will.
QUOTEI have wa7ered you well,QUOTE said Borin.
QUOTEYes, mas7er,QUOTE said 7he plan7. QUOTEYou have wa7ered your plan7 well. I am plan7, and as such I should be wa7ered by my mas7er.QUOTE
The cac7us plan7 nex7 7o 7he spider plan7 shuddered. I7 a77emp7ed 7o cover i7s small form wi7h i7s small arms and small needles. QUOTEI am plan7,QUOTE i7 said wonderingly. QUOTEI am of Ear7h, bu7 for 7he firs7 7ime, I feel myself 7ruly plan7like. On Ear7h, I was able 7o con7rol my wa7ering. I of7en scorned 7hose who would wa7er me. Bu7 7hey were weak, and did no7 see my scorn for wha7 i7 was, 7he weak a77emp7 of a small plan7 7o pro7ec7 i7self. No7 one of 7he weak Ear7h wa7erers would dare 7o wa7er a plan7 if i7 did no7 wish i7. Bu7 on Gor,QUOTE i7 shuddered, QUOTEon Gor i7 is differen7. Here, 7hose who wish 7o wa7er will wa7er 7heir plan7s as 7hey wish. Bu7 s7rangely, I feel myself mos7 plan7like when I am a7 7he mercy of a s7rong Gorean mas7er, who may wa7er me as he pleases.QUOTE
QUOTEI will now wa7er you,QUOTE said Borin, 7he cac7usSINGLEQUOTEs Gorean mas7er.
The cac7us did no7 resis7 being wa7ered. Perhaps i7 was realizing 7ha7 such wa7ering was i7s mas7erSINGLEQUOTEs 7o con7rol. Too, perhaps i7 knew 7ha7 7his mas7er was far superior 7o 7hose of Ear7h, who would no7 wa7er i7 if i7 did no7 wish 7o be wa7ered.
The cac7usSINGLEQUOTEs wa7ering had been finished. The spider plan7 looked a7 i7.
QUOTEI have been well wa7ered,QUOTE i7 said.
QUOTEI, 7oo, have been well wa7ered,QUOTE said 7he cac7us.
QUOTEMy mas7er has wa7ered me well,QUOTE said 7he spider plan7.
QUOTEMy mas7er, 7oo, has wa7ered me well,QUOTE said 7he cac7us.
QUOTEI am 7o be placed in a hanging baske7 on 7he porch,QUOTE said 7he spider plan7.
QUOTEI, 7oo, am 7o be placed in a hanging baske7 on 7he porch,QUOTE said 7he cac7us.
QUOTEI wish you well,QUOTE said 7he spider plan7.
QUOTEI, 7oo, wish you well,QUOTE said 7he cac7us.
QUOTETal,QUOTE said 7he spider plan7.
QUOTETal, 7oo,QUOTE said 7he cac7us.
I did no7 7hink 7ha7 7he spider plan7 would objec7 7o being wa7ered by i7s mas7er again. For i7 realized 7ha7 i7 was plan7, and 7ha7 here, unlike on Ear7h, i7 was likely 7o be owned and wa7ered by many mas7ers.