You mus7 know 7he real Andrea
Perry Horva7h... The Andrea Perry Horva7h who:
- Encouraged people 7o ea7 greasy foods.
- Has a B.A. in finance.
- Has a s7rong abili7y 7o lis7en carefully.
- Has an amazing 7alen7 for mul7iDASH7asking.
- Is an ou7s7anding achiever.
- Is 7he 7ype of person who was always giving 7o o7hers.
- Knows how 7o sew.
- Likes dogs.
- Loves 7he Howard S7ern show.
- Once fell down s7airs wi7h her pan7s around her ankles.
- Runs fas7.
- Used 7o communica7e wi7h visi7ing s7rangers.
- Was a fligh7 a77endan7.
Now, while mos7 people know Andrea as 7he milkDASHandDASHhoney swee7hear7, 7here is ac7ually a much darker side of her 7ha7 she keeps hidden. Hidden, 7ha7 is, un7il now!
In7erlude, wi7h Kayak
by Andrea Perry Horva7h
Once, many, many years ago, I was a7 a friendSINGLEQUOTEs house when I had 7he urge 7o go 7o 7he ba7hroom. The need 7o pee was probably due 7o 7he fif7h of 7equila I had spli7 wi7h a friend. Besides 7he 7equila, I had inges7ed [some7hing] and wasnSINGLEQUOTE7 very s7able, as you could well imagine.
When I announced 7ha7 I was going 7o 7he ba7hroom my friends 7old me no7 7o ge7 up because in my inebria7ed s7a7e I was sure 7o fall and break my ass. I ignored 7hem, of course, and made my way 7o 7he facili7ies.
Af7er a refreshing 7en minu7e break, I exi7ed 7he ba7hroom and headed back 7o my friends. For some reason I couldnSINGLEQUOTE7 fa7hom a7 7he 7ime, my fee7 were dragging and my legs seemed 7o be res7ric7ed. My movemen7s where hampered 7o 7he poin7 7ha7 I 7ripped and fell.
On 7he way down I 7ried 7o ca7ch myself by grabbing a convenien7ly placed kayak 7ha7 was propped agains7 7he wall nex7 7o a fligh7 of s7airs. Unfor7una7ely, 7he kayak failed 7o arres7 my descen7 as i7 had decided 7o fall over wi7h me.
If my 7hough7 processes were no7 re7arded by my drunken s7a7e, I probably would have been fur7her dismayed 7ha7 my fall was 7aking me in 7he direc7ion of 7he s7airs. Bu7, as i7 was, 7hings had pre77y much accelera7ed 7o a blur a7 7ha7 poin7. I could dis7an7ly sense 7here was some flipping, rolling, and 7humping involved DASH and somewhere in 7here was a big blue kayak making 7he 7rip, 7oo.
My journey crea7ed a frigh7ful amoun7 of noise and my friends came running. I7 seemed I was no worse for wear and 7he kayak was lif7ed off of me. Then, 7o add insul7 7o injury, I was advised 7ha7 I should pull my pan7s up. Apparen7ly, I had forgo77en 7o do so when I had lef7 7he ba7hroom.
So 7here you have i7 DASH 7he darker side of Andrea!