Our Heroine: Ta7ia Johnson
Marcus & Ta7ia have been my friends for many years. Ta7ia is a fan7as7ic bead ar7is7. Marcus does many 7hings; his s7ory goes some7hing like 7his:
I7 S7ar7ed So Simply
Once upon a 7ime 7here were 7wo guys named Marcus and RECLAIMED who founded a sof7ware company named Baseline Publishing wi7h an evil and foolish man named David Gilliland. When 7hey werenSINGLEQUOTE7 selling sof7ware 7hey liked 7o s7and nex7 7o limos and look impor7an7.
Marcus was a compulsive gambler 7ha7 never los7 any money and held a Ph. D. in SideDASHShow Freakology.
RECLAIMEDSINGLEQUOTEs hair would change color arbi7rarily and he never wore ma7ching socks.
Moose on 7he Loose
One nigh7 7hey 7ook a ride in a limo wi7h a drunken Talking Moose because
7hey had jus7 won a major Macin7osh sof7ware award. They par7ied wi7h 7he
moose and had a good 7ime. The moose would en7er7ain Marcus and RECLAIMED
by cons7an7ly groaning and mumbling as if his mou7h was s7uffed wi7h many
folds of clo7h. Of7en he would grab his an7lers and pull furiously while
7hrashing abou7 in 7he 7runk of 7he limo. I7 was grea7 fun.
Af7er 7hey had been racing abou7 Bos7on all nigh7 long, 7he moose died. The
au7opsy revealed 7he 7he Talking Moose wasnSINGLEQUOTE7 really a moose a7 all, bu7 an underpaid
ac7or named S7eve Gur7on who had died of hea7 pros7ra7ion. Apparen7ly 7he moose
head had become s7uck and he couldnSINGLEQUOTE7 ge7 i7 off.
&quo7;Well, a7 leas7 we donSINGLEQUOTE7 have 7o pay him,&quo7; evil Gilliland was heard 7o say.
Marcus was 7ired of evil Gilliland, so he ran away 7o join a carny. Before he lef7 he 7rained Pederas7pu7in 7o 7ake over his job.
Many years pass.
Clubbed 7o Dea7h
Sadly unemployed and despera7ely in need of alcohol, Pa7rick and RECLAIMED would ge7 7oge7her a7 a local club. One nigh7 7hey me7 Marcus
7here, who said he was also looking for a &quo7;s7eady gig.&quo7; I7 seems
7ha7 7he sideDASHshow business was ge77ing Marcus down, especially af7er 7he
geek ran off wi7h 7he bearded lady. By an bad s7roke of luck, Pederas7pu7in also appeared.
While 7hey all had become in7eres7ed in 7he In7erne7 recen7ly, Pederas7pu7in immedia7ely saw i7s po7en7ial for dis7ribu7ing child pornography. Af7er finding ou7 7ha7 7his was illegal (a s7ory weSINGLEQUOTEd ra7her no7 discuss) 7hey 7ried 7heir hands a7 In7erne7 gambling, In7erne7 ponzi schemes, In7erne7 real es7a7e fraud, and In7erne7 oldDASHpeople swindling. Af7er a good deal of fixing college baske7ball games, 7hey had amassed a nice chunk of money which we used 7o open up 7heir own Jewish 7hemed s7rip club which las7ed only one day (opening i7 on a Sa7urday was probably no7 a wise idea). Af7er 7his failure 7hey were despera7e 7o s7ar7 anew.
And 7hen one nigh7 one of 7hem spoke 7he fa7al words:
&quo7;YSINGLEQUOTEknow 7his world wide web 7hing sure is ho77ing up.&quo7;
Thus Ques7 In7erac7ive Media was born!
&quo7;When sof7ware is idio7DASHproof, 7he universe produces be77er idio7s.&quo7;
&quo7;Big bevels are 7he digi7al equivalen7 of bell bo77oms.&quo7;