Our Heroine: Tatia Johnson
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Our Heroine: Tatia Johnson |
Marcus & Tatia have been my friends for many years. Tatia is a fantastic bead artist. Marcus does many things; his story goes something like this:
It Started So Simply
Once upon a time there were two guys named Marcus
and Matthew who founded a software
company named Baseline Publishing with an evil and foolish man named David Gilliland. When they
weren't selling software they liked to stand next to limos and look important.
Marcus was a compulsive gambler that never lost any money and held a Ph. D. in Side-Show Freakology.
Matthew's hair would change color arbitrarily and he never wore matching socks.
Moose on the Loose
One night they took a ride in a limo with a drunken Talking Moose because
they had just won a major Macintosh software award. They partied with the
moose and had a good time. The moose would entertain Marcus and Matthew
by constantly groaning and mumbling as if his mouth was stuffed with many
folds of cloth. Often he would grab his antlers and pull furiously while
thrashing about in the trunk of the limo. It was great fun.
After they had been racing about Boston all night long, the moose died. The
autopsy revealed the the Talking Moose wasn't really a moose at all, but an underpaid
actor named Steve Gurton who had died of heat prostration. Apparently the moose
head had become stuck and he couldn't get it off.
"Well, at least we don't have to pay him," evil Gilliland was heard to say.
Marcus was tired of evil Gilliland, so he ran away to join a carny. Before he left he trained Pederastputin to take over his job.
Many years pass.
Clubbed to Death
Sadly unemployed and desperately in need of alcohol, Patrick and Matthew would get together at a local club. One night they met Marcus
there, who said he was also looking for a "steady gig." It seems
that the side-show business was getting Marcus down, especially after the
geek ran off with the bearded lady. By an bad stroke of luck, Pederastputin also appeared.
While they all had become interested in the Internet recently, Pederastputin immediately saw its potential for distributing child pornography. After finding out that this was illegal (a story we'd rather not discuss) they tried their hands at Internet gambling, Internet ponzi schemes, Internet real estate fraud, and Internet old-people swindling. After a good deal of fixing college basketball games, they had amassed a nice chunk of money which we used to open up their own Jewish themed strip club which lasted only one day (opening it on a Saturday was probably not a wise idea). After this failure they were desperate to start anew.
And then one night one of them spoke the fatal words:
"Y'know this world wide web thing sure is hotting up."
Thus Quest Interactive Media was born!
"When software is idiot-proof, the universe produces better idiots."
"Big bevels are the digital equivalent of bell bottoms."
Contact: - (c)opyleft 1995-2009 Matthew Lewis Carroll Smith - Creative Commons Licensed
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