matt foley "living in a div down by the navmenu" dept
(c)opyleft
1995-2008
Matthew Lewis
Carroll Smith
Megan Jones
I met Megan Jones when she was hired at Quest Interactive Media to be our first account manager. Megan is a woman I find to be utterly charming and sophisticated, but she is also scary and grim when you are alone with her. She currently works for Lokion and has no online presence (although she did have one here once). She is known to fear clones.
<<< Megan Joins Quest
Quest had carried on quite well in the first years of the internet, but the time had come to make a change and start acting like a real company. Quest desperately need someone who could talk to clients without gravy stains. The answer to Quest's problems was named Megan Jones.
The only problem was that Megan was a woman. You see, up to this point Quest had been a fun, whimsical, testosterone-laden den of code, games, and pizza. Now all that had to change.
The point of greatest contention was the condition of the restroom:
Sent: 01/13/1996
From: Matthew Lewis Carroll Smith
To: All Quest Interactive Media Staff
Subject: The ToiletOur time of the great rollicking brotherhood of manliness is now at an end because a woman will be working in the office starting next week.
Gone are the days when I could stand at the toilet with my mighty tool and spray gobs of hot urine anywhere I pleased. No longer can I examine the intricacies of the ceiling's texture while I indiscriminately splash odorous piss without a thought in my mind about bothering to aim.
And of course, your bad urinary habits will be gone too. Now the more vertically challenged of us will have to make a greater effort to point it higher. The nerdyer of this company will have to develop a greater level of consciousness when in the bathroom. The more uptight people will just have to drag the timid fellow further out of the fly. And the adventurous ones will learn to stop trying to arc their waste over the shoulder, backwards.
Remember, a nice woman's ass will be on that toilet AND IT COULD BE YOUR DAUGHTER'S NEXT!
But that is not all, we must make an effort to KEEP IT CLEAN. Which means actually touching the place with our hands. As odious as the task is, it has to be done.
Therefore, in the true spirit of company, I am volunteering to clean the bathroom first. I suggest somebody "volunteers" for next week.
And as I wiping your crusty remains off the side of the toilet I will have a special thought for you.
We tried to curb our bad behaviors but it didn't work. Luckily for us, Megan was tough as nails and acted like she could have cared less. There was a rumor that she could control her bladder for over 18 hours, too. >>>
it pays the bills dept
here is something I hope is doing no evil.
could be worse dept
there could be more of them