Classical Jazz 2005: Home

Scott Moss

Scott was the first employee hired by Quest Interactive Media (see below), which is where I first met him. Scott is a very peculiar character. He is the creative genius behind Automusik. (This used to be Scott's start page - snarfle!)

Scott Applies to Quest
After Quest placed an ad in the Memphis Flyer for web-experienced people, this gem appeared in our mailbox:

Of course, when we couldn't read his resume because of the crappy software he used, we were ready to toss his application in the trash. The added postscript was just enough to invite him to an interview.

Lucky him.

Scott Joins QuestScott Joins Quest
As Quest grew by leaps and bounds, it became painfully obvious that more people were required to code and forage for food.

When Scott came in for his inverview, everyone knew that he would be perfect for the job. Scott demonstrated excellent technical skills and impressive knowledge of edible plants.

This was probably because he believed he was possessed by the spirit of an 18th century French-Canadian fur trapper named Tim.

Scott fit right in.

Scott's Little AccidentScott's Little Accident
One day, when Scott was out in the wilderness of midtown Memphis foraging for Diet Cokes, he had an embarrassing accident. While crossing the street he had one of his quaint "spells" where he thought he was Tim, the 18th century French-Canadian fur trapper.

Scott (as Tim) thought he was wading across a stream (the street) when he was approached by a large blue truck (a bear). Tim (Scott) knew the way to deal with a bear (truck) was to stand still (run like hell) and stare it down (give the finger). So Scott (Tim) struck a dominate pose (stopped slumping) and growled (screamed in fear) at the truck (bear).

Thank goodness for the timely response of a friendly tribe of native Americans (paramedics). They were able to scrape Scott off the street (put him in a canoe) and take him to a nearby hospital (tribal burial grounds).

When the hospital called to verify Scott's medical coverage no one had heard of him. But they told the hospital to keep a look out for Tim.

Girls!Scott's Band
Scott, in his spare time, had been whipping his band, Mr. Belvedere and the Solid Gold Dancers, into shape. When the band originally started out playing the only gigs they could get were at Appalachian Snake Dancing ceremonies, where they were paid with mooshine, chickens, and an occasion inbred child. Finally, after one frustrating night when the bass player was bitten by a King Snake, Scott realized that it was time for a change of venue.

Scott's band gave up playing normal events and entered the dark, strange world of fraternity parties and nightclubs. In a few short weeks his band was a success!

Between playing a few nights a week and working at Quest, Scott has very little time for himself. When asked why he kept playing he would get this unfocused look in his eyes and mumble "girls."

Scott's first porn shoot.Scott Resorts to Porn
Scott was finding himself driven over the edge. Countless hours in a ratty van traveling to gigs with the rest of Mr. Belvedere and the Solid Gold Dancers was taking its toll on his psyche. Scott was already thinking about his next creative venture; something minimalist with harsh German overtones. He came up with "Bertolt Brecht and the High Diggers," but found it lacking.

In order to offset the massive quantities of beer he must drink to allow him to keep playing, Scott cashed in on internet porn shoots. Unfortunately, his pictures only sold to "neck-down-only" porn fetish sites. Scott was crushed and his mood turned dour; which was probably why he accused a number of Quest employees of fondling him. Nothing was ever proven, of course. We were simply not that desperate.

 

 

 

 

 

it pays the bills dept

here is something I hope is doing no evil.

could be worse dept

there could be more of them