Poetry

Romance Tip #001 to my son Joshua: When it comes to romance, there is no such thing as a bad poem, so write poems to your objects of affection. The most unfavorable reaction you will ever get is neutrality. Use a little common sense gauging your tone and subject matter: i.e. know better than to give a 'heavy' poem to someone you have just met. (However, come to think of it, doing that is unavoidable when you are 16-18, so I forgive you in advance.)

Start with an idea of what you want to say. If all you want to say is, "wow, you have a hot bod," then you're going to need to think of interesting ways to say it. Use metaphor and subtle innuendo. You want to be subtle because most romantic poetry screams, "I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT YOU THAT I THINK OF YOU ALL THE TIME AND MAYBE I'LL FOLLOW YOU HOME FROM WORK TOMORROW," and people tend to get freaked out by that.

Personally, I prefer rhymes, but if you find this impossible then try free verse. The important part is that you make a real effort - it will show.

I remember hearing Ice-T on NPR say there are only three types of blues songs:

1. Baby, I love you.
    
2. Baby, I love you. Don't leave me.
    
3. Baby, I love you. Don't leave me. But if you do, leave me the car.

The same can be said of romantic poetry.

Assuming you grow up with a sense of humor - which you should, try mixing things up with light-hearted verse every once on a while. My favorite subjects were weddings, births, and medical conditions.

Poems about body parts, firearms, and sharp objects should only be given to people who know you really, really well.