Classical Jazz 2005: Home

War is a Science

by Stephen Schwartz

War is a science with rules to be applied
which good soldiers appreciate, recall, and recapitulate,
before they go to decimate the other side.

The army of the enemy is stationed on the hill
so we've got to get them down here, and this is how we will
our men in the ravine (that's this area in green)
will move across the valley where they plainly can be seen
and the enemy in blue will undoubtedly pursue
for that's what you depend upon an enemy to do.

Then, to guarantee their folly
we'll bring bowmen into play
who will fire just one volley
and retire to point "A".

War is a science
a breeding ground for brains
for though I cannot write my name
the men whose pens have brought them fame
write endless paragraphs explaining
my campaigns.

Now when the foe see our soldiers marching through the lea
they will mount a charge and meet us a the point I've labelled "B"
and their bowmen on the hill (in yellow on the map)
will leave their posts to join the rest and fall into our trap,
then we'll cut off reinforcements and retreat of any king
bearing principles of enfilade and defilade in mind.

And if the ploys we pick to really
work to bring to pass occur
we won't have just a victory
we'll have ourselves a massacre!

Now listen to me closely, I'll endeavor to explain
what separates a charlatan from a Charlemagne,
a rule confessed by generals, illustrious and various,
though pompous as a Pompey or daring as a Darius,
a simple rule that every great man learns by heart:
it's smarter to be lucky than it's lucky to be smart.

And if the fates feel frivolous
and all our plans they smother
well suppose this war does shrivel us
there'll always be another!

And then the men go marching out into the fray
conquering the enemy and carrying the day
Hark! The blood is pounding in our ears.
Jubilations! We can hear a grateful nation's cheers!

October 23, 1972

 

 

 

 

 

it pays the bills dept

here is something I hope is doing no evil.

could be worse dept

there could be more of them