The Continuing Saga - The Personal Website of Matthew Lewis Carroll Smith

You are here:
Home > Prose

Prose

Where I do that thing with the keyboard which makes words appear on the screen.

Mark my words; my works of words are markedly on the funny side. You may also wish to check out my blog, Without Portfolio. Or not.

The Good Stuff

TOPICAL! The Continuing Saga - Travels in 2009
Witness post-divorce peristalsis without a colonoscopy.
 
 
 
 
Happy Lucky Birthday
She was the ultimate high maintenance girlfriend and I was a penultimate fool.
The Continuing Saga - July 1998
A letter I wrote to my friends when I found myself living in a house that didn't exist yet.
The Continuing Saga - August 1998
Similar to the above except this time I worshiped a porcelain god without throwing up.
BatWoman
A story about my grandmother, my mother, and me.

 

Slices of My Life

Filtering Dates for a Sense of Humor
If they are weird enough to like my sense of humor they may be weird enough to sleep with me. Needs Updating!
Blacksmithing
Fire plus iron equals fun.
Memories of Games
My family practiced social interaction through gaming years before it was cool. Not Really Finished!
Baseline Receives Accolades
It's January 1992 and we didn't even have to bribe Bob LeVitus.

 

Rants

H&R Block Makes a Bad Situation Worse
There are three absolutes in life: death, taxes, and the incompetence of newly created interactive services.
I Hate Computers
Yes, I do - but, shhhhh! Don't tell them.
SpellCatcher is the Best Software in the Universe
(Unfinished) The first step in fixing a problem is admitting you have one.

The Silly Crap

Email Weirdness
A variety of memorable email messages that I treasure.
The Needs of the Young Villain
I pseudonymously tell the people at VillainSuppy.com that they are neglecting a market segment.
Common Cicada Misconceptions
I pseudonymously refute the wacky claims at Cicadaville.com with something wacked.
The Gentile Badchen's Wedding Toast
Impress your Jewish friends with your knowledge of their culture.
A Footnote on the History of the Dogcow
How to make a 4-foot tall pile of dog turds fit in your car.
Vic's 1999
Karaoke without bloodshed - what a concept!

 

I Doubt You Would Understand

Cloning Creates Monsters
...and they are usually right-wing fundamentalists.
The Eisenhower Story
Ripped from the I Like Icon manual.
In Search of the Talking Moose
Ripped from the Talking Moose & his Cartoon Carnival manual.
Louis Wu
About the man behind Halo.Bungie.Org and the livestock-related rumor behind him.

Contact: - (c)opyleft 1995-2009 Matthew Lewis Carroll Smith - Creative Commons Licensed

Home About Me Joshua Games Prose Poetry Graphics Humor People Places Strange Credits